Lori & Family,
my deepest sympathy and prayers and thoughts are with you at this difficult time in your lives. this site is awesome and I will be here often to look through. you have done a great job Lori. your son Taylor will not be forgotten by so many. 

Rest In Peace

Taylor

Hello,

I stumbled on your website, and must say you are one sweet mom to have memoralized your son and you write from your heart......Fightting jet lag is not easy when I have just travelled across from the US and landed in Bangalore. 

This website is a great memorial to Taylor.  


Please accept my most sincerest appreciation in keeping this alive.......
I am writing to comment about your dream....
He would have definitely saved anyone he can if he could and if he knew not how he would ask you.....

this is the reason why this website came about that you could help those who r suffering and are in the last stages of life...

he would have had a lot to give to this world and he is giving through you....

you therefore should feel the joy of carrying the work he would have done... 

a tear, a dew drop of peace falls  for a moment on your soul on the mirror in which you see Taylor and let that tear be the one that sparkles a joy that we all go from here to eternal life.....

regards

Pasha

im not sure if i told you or not but i told guy that when you guys were gone taylor had enough sense and
responsibility to stay home all the time. I invited him to my cabin and to the lake twice and he said one time that he was staying home to drive his sister around and hang out at the house and keep and eye on her and her friends and the other time had something to do with that but i can't remember the exact
details i wish i could but both times he said he couldn't cause he was responsible.

and if he ever played a joke on someone like me you always knew what was going on especially because when it was over even if you figured it out or not he would always tell you what really
happened

i mean taylor made nick
allens voice message machine on his cell phone and eveytime nick doesn't answer its like wow taylor just said something.

Nick

I am so sorry for everyones loss. It is so wonderful to see that sooo many people loved and cared for him. May your pain be healed soon.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your beautiful son.

My 16 year old nephew (soon to be 17) just lost his life 3 weeks ago. He also drown, except he drown in the neighbor's hot tub. We don't know what happened. Our family is just starting the grieving process. He also leaves behind a sister. I'm his aunt. He is my brother's child. We are devestated.

My prayers to you and your family.

so many out there wonder WHY?? why so young... him... why her... why now?... it takes a lot out of me to wake up each morning and decide whether todays a day i'll mourn taylor... celebrate taylor... live my life... or try and make the time stand still. of course; i want my life to go back to being full of life before taylor passed away.. but i've lost hope in that coming back. tonight i listened to the audio of lori & guys speech at taylors memorial. i can't say that i'll be able to do that anytime soon.... it killed me inside. i closed my eyes and i felt as though i was sitting there. in the back... facing those who loved taylor just as much as me if not more. it's horrible. i feel angry and frustrated for not being able to change this nightmare. i feel hopeful that MAYBE taylors legacy will continue to grow stronger and stronger with the days, years, hours to come. i pray... that this emptyness is filled. but it wont be... he has a part of me with him. 



how does it feel to know your everything i need.
the butterflies in my stomach, they could bring me to my knees.
how does it feel to know your everything i want.
gotta a hard time so i'll sing it in a song
i adore the way you carry yourself
but the grace of a thousand angels over head
and i love the way the galaxy starts to melt
and we become one..... and we become one.
-So Much
[The Spill Canvas]



love you always taylor.
bri

Taylor man, we had alot of good times. I know your in a better place now, just realize you will never be forgotten. I can only hope that I affect as many people in my life as you did in yours. See ya again one day man. You'll never be forgotten. 

Mike Pelton

Your story is so sad, I myself have lost twin daughters, although they never got to open their eyes, or take a breath, they were stillborn at 24 weeeks gestation. I just set up a site for them and that's how I found yours, the way you honor your son is beautiful, you worry that he will be forgotten- I am one person who will always think of him. your story has touched me as do others I read on this site, I always pray for the parents, it's so hard I know. I hope you have faith of some sort to be able to give your burdens up to, I will lift you in my daily prayers. I too have butterflies, always 2 and always monarchs, I too believe they are my girls Kinsey and Kylee.

the first time they came to me was on their due date, May 27th 05. ( They were stillborn on Jan 27th 05) But they always come when I need them the most. I can't wait to see your rocks, maybe you can e-mail me to let me know when you put them on the page. I wish you and your family peace, as I know as a mother it's hard to go on, but you do and will. God Bless you Lori Sullivan ( Idaho)

Taylor,
You were one the most amazing people i've ever met in my life.
You were truly incredible.
Thanks for always being so friendly. 
I wish I could go back in time, back to 2005.
I miss you so.

Love,
 Kristin Couturier

Taylor will always be remembered as a GREAT person and I miss him tremendously.
Levi

My son sends me rocks.
I know, that sounds so funny doesn't it?
But he leaves rocks in the shape of a heart for me. I've found nearly a hundred in the past year!
I would like to set them up and take pictures of them to put on his website. I just need to wait until the weather breaks.
It's crazy, I'll be balling my eyes out while taking the dog for a walk and I'll look down and there will be a beautiful heart shaped stone or rock. I've never seen one before and that would be something I'd notice. So I like to believe that Taylor is sending me signs through those. 

I also have butterflies that stay near me and land on me -- and they don't leave until I'm done crying -- which can sometimes be an hour or more! The darn things will fly onto me or land next to me and just "wait." I swear it's Taylor. I mean, come on......... I have never witnessed anything like that before! Now I find I'll talk to the darn things when they come by. It's like I'll see one fly by and go, "Oh look, there goes Taylor."
And here's the kicker -- they only stop if I'm crying!!!!!
Gosh I really miss my son Taylor.
Thanks for giving me this opportunity to talk about him.

I had found this article about losing a child and what we as parents go though. I found it helpful in knowing that the feelings I have had are normal for a parent in grief. I know that there are so many issues that we all have to go through and maybe this will be able to help some.

Losing a Child ...Losing Your Future?

It has been said that parents who lose a child also lose the hopes, dreams, and expectations they had for that child. They lose a part of themselves. They lose their future because their child represents their sense of ongoing life. Psychologists believe, because of these reasons, the death of a child is possibly the most difficult loss of all to accept.

People who have children often feel that parenting is life’s most important role, regardless of the child’s age. Therefore, the death of a child can be a tremendous assault on a parent’s very identity.

What to Expect

If your child has died, you will most likely experience several common reactions of bereavement. However, your grief can be more acute than normal. You may go into periods of shock and denial. You will likely become depressed. If you are normally a committed, caring person, you could find that you do not care about anything or anyone. You may find yourself preoccupied with the circumstances of your child’s death, recreating them over and over again in your mind. You may think you see or hear your child. You might have dreams and nightmares about them.

The intense grief caused by your child’s death can take a physical toll as well. You may lose weight, have difficulty sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath. Grief has even been known to cause hair loss. 

Anger and Guilt

Perhaps the most acute feelings you will experience are anger and guilt. Because the death of a child does not follow the normal order of nature, there is a strong urge to place the blame on someone or something. You may be angry at the doctors or nurses who could not cure your child’s illness, or at G-d for “letting” your child die. If your child died because of a traumatic accident, you may be angry at whomever you believe caused it. If your child’s actions partly caused the death, you may be angry at him or her and then feel guilty about your anger toward your child.

Parents often feel terribly guilty for simply living. If you had an argument with your child or had to discipline him or her shortly before the death, you may feel guilty for those actions.

You may feel the most guilt because you believe you should have prevented your child’s death. You may find yourself consumed by thoughts of “if only.” A father tends to suffer guilt over failing to prevent a child’s death. While both parents feel responsible for their child’s safety, men have often been taught that protecting the family is their primary role.

The Grief Experience

While bereaved parents know they will experience intense grief, their child’s death can have another effect they did not anticipate. The death could alter their feelings toward each other. Almost always, the marriage will never be the same. The change could be for the better or for the worse. However, the relationship rarely stays the same.

Parents think their grief will be similar because they have lost the same child. This similar type of mourning rarely happens. The relationship the father mourns is different from the relationship the mother mourns because each parent shared a different relationship with the child.

Fathers may have a more difficult time expressing their grief, believing on some level that “big boys don’t cry,” or that they need to be strong for their surviving family. Unfortunately, this may keep fathers from working through their grief and resolving it. It may become necessary to seek counseling or spiritual help.

Couples may experience difficulty in communicating after the death of their child. The intensity of grief comes at different times for each parent. One parent may use work as an escape while the other finds solace in photo albums and home videos. Dad may feel the need to box up and store the child’s personal belongings while Mom cannot bear to look at them. A physical resemblance to the dead child can also cause difficulties between the parents.

A child’s death may cause sexual problems within a marriage as well. Time, patience, and communication are key elements to resolving these problems. It is not uncommon for these effects to last up to two years or more following the child’s death.

Answering the Questions of Your Other Children

Your other children will look to you to explain the death to them. A child’s questions will depend on their age, but your answers should always be honest. Guard against telling children that their brother or sister is “sleeping,” or that “G-d wanted their brother or sister.” These may simply cause other fears in your children that may be more difficult to resolve than a more direct answer. Be direct, without offering more information than necessary.

Young children sometimes fantasize that they caused the death by being mean to the deceased sibling or by fighting with them. In this case, it is important to assure your child that he/she had nothing to do with their brother’s or sister’s death.

Remember, your other children need to resolve their grief. They will take their cues from you, so support them in their grief by being open in showing yours. You will not do them any favors by protecting them from the grieving process; in fact, there is no way you can.

Dealing with Grief

It may not be possible to work through your grief alone. Your funeral director can recommend support groups, counselors, books, and videos which deal specifically with child bereavement. Ask your funeral director to recommend a specific book, or visit your local library.

It is important for parents to realize that severe grief can make them feel like they’re going crazy. If you are afraid your grief is out of control, you might consider asking your  rabbi, clergy, doctor, or funeral director to suggest a counselor. You may be relieved to find that your problems, in this situation, are normal.

Finally, remember that other people will likely feel very awkward around you because they will not know what to say. You can help bridge the gap by simply telling them what you need and letting them know it is all right to mention your deceased child.

Your birthday is coming again son. A tribute to the most purposeful day in my life. And here you are, trying to give me gifts.

It's so like you, always humble, confident, giving.

I feel you Taylor. You're in my heart so strong. There are so many times it feels that I can't live anymore without your physical self beside me, so keep sending your wisdom and guidance. It helps to ease the pain and sadness. I'm trying to catch on.

I feel you carving a path for me. I don't know where it leads yet but I have so much faith in its direction. The angels you have sent my way already are so beautiful, thank you for them all.

My love for you grows more and more each day.
You will never be without me. You are amazing.

Talk to me often, be with me always. Share what you're learning from God with me so that I may follow the path. I am listening all the time.

I love you Taylor

RACING BOW LEGGED THROUGH THE HALLS OF HIGH SCHOOL IS SOMETHING I WILL TREASURE -- EVEN THOUGH I LOST MOST OF THE TIME.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH MAN.

CARTER

I went to school with Taylor since Desert Mountain and all of Desert Mountain.  He ALWAYS knew how to make me smile and laugh.  My favorite memory of him was when he was dressed up in a big purple cat suit & came to Kevin Hassett's house for our big dance sleepover.

He scared all of us so much, but it was SO FUNNY when we found out who it was.  We were hysterical!  

I will miss him dearly, but he will ALWAYS be in my heart. 

I love and miss you Taylor Burgstahler

Brogan Saunders

Taylor was like my big brother.... he always stuck up for you and always made you laugh.  No matter the hour, you could count on Taylor to take us TP-ing (shhhh).  That is when we had the most fun.  Taylor will always be in my heart forever and i will always have undying love for him.

I love you big brother and I miss you so much.