I am so deeply sorry... / Kristen Gondolfo (Angel mommy to Isabella Gondolfo )
I am just so sorry for your heartwrenching loss. I sit here reading this site and tears are streaming down my face. This is just so unfair that our children get taken from us. It just shouldn't be this way. I lost my infant daughter to sids. This is such a beautiful page, there is so much love here. I feel just like you do about making sure people remember our children. It is us that need to keep their spirits alive and you are doing an excellent job. I wish so badly that you didn't have to live with this great pain. I wish I could take it away from you for just 5 minutes even. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish that we didn't have to cross pathes like this.
Much Love to you and your family Kristen Gondolfo
Oh I am so sorry / KIM GREENWOOD I found this link somehow while listening to some music on the internet. I could not help but read it and pay my tributes to a person I never even met. I feel a part of him has been shared by this website and I am honored to have read it. Parents and sister.........I am so sorry for your loss. Tears fall from my eyes as he was such a intellectual and amazing kid. God bless you in your healing. Taylor will never be fortotten.....just missed. With care, Kim in Cleveland.
For Taylor / Ellen (we would have been good friends )
I found this memorial website reading some posts on the boards, and was so very touched, inspired and lifted up, almost as if I had known Taylor all my life. I cannot imagine your pain, but know that Taylor would not want you to suffer his tragic and untimely departure from you, just from reading about him. I will keep you all in my prayers, that God will lift your sadness and your faith will stay strong. I thought of how Satan was allowed to tempt Job in the bible, and God allowed the suffering, losing all his children, yet he was blessed beyond any comparsion. I believe that God will give Taylor his life back in a much better world. You have sent wonderful messages to people, as we all take for granted when we should not, and be so thankful for what we have. God bless you for sharing with the world and teaching love. Maybe Taylor had done Gods work in such a short time, and maybe he uses him to teach us all now. My sister lost her son and it is the largest void in her life, but her faith in God pulls her through. His death made no sense, but I know that one day, we will all know and understand God's plan and reunite with those we love. God Bless you.
The following is a listing of organizations that may be helpful in your time of loss. / Lori Burgstahler (Mother)
The following is a listing of organizations that may be helpful in your time of loss.
A.L.S. Association* http://www.alsa.org/ 27001 Agoura Road, Suite 150 Calabasas Hills, CA 91301 (800) 782-4747
Alzheimer's Association* http://www.alz.org/ 919 N. Michigan Ave., Suite 1000 Chicago, IL 60611 (312) 335-8700
American Association of Retired Persons http://www.aarp.org/ Grief/Loss Programs 601 E. St. Washington, DC 20049 (202) 434-2260 (For widowed and bereaved adults.)
American Association of Suicidology http://www.suicidology.org/ 4201 Connecticut Ave., NW Suite 310 Washington, DC 20049
American Cancer Society* http://www.cancer.org/ 1599 Clifton Road, NE Atlanta, GA 30329 (800) ACS-2345
American Foundation for AIDS http://www.amfar.org/ Research* 733 3rd Ave., 12th Floor New York, NY 10017 (212) 682-7440 ext. 210
American Hospice Foundation http://www.americanhospice.org/ 1130 Connecticut, NW, Suite 700 Washington, DC 20036 (202) 223-0204 Email:ahf@msn.com
American Kidney Fund* http://www.akfinc.org/ 6110 Executive Blvd., Suite 1010 Rockville, MD 20852 (800) 638-8299
American Liver Foundation http://www.akfinc.org/ 1425 Pomptom Ave. Cedar Grove, NJ 07009-1000 (800) 233-0179
American Lung Association* http://www.lungusa.org/ 1740 Broadway New York, NY 10019 (800) LUNG-USA
American SIDS Institute* http://www.sids.org/ 2480 Windy Hill Rd. Suite 380 Marietta, GA 30067 (800) 232-SIDS
Association for Death Education http://www.adec.org/ and Counseling 342 Main St. West Hartford, CT 06117-2507 (860) 586-7503
Bereavement Services/RTS http://www.bereavementprograms.com/ Gunderson Lutheran Medical Center 1910 South Ave. La Crosse, WI 54601 (608) 791-4747 or (800) 362-9567 Ext. 4747
Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation* http://www.candlelighters.org/ 7910 Woodmont Ave. Suite 460 Bethesda, MD 20814 (800) 366-2223 (301) 657-8401
Center for Loss in Multiple Birth http://www.climb-support.org/ (CLIMB) Inc.* P.O. Box 1064 Palmer, AK 99645 (907) 746-6123 (907) 274-7029
The Compassionate Friends* http://www.compassionatefriends.org/ PO Box 3696 Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696 (630) 990-1010 (Supports families who have experienced the death of a child)
In Loving Memory* http://www.geocities.com/athens/delphi/9030/ 1416 Green Run Lane Reston, VA 20190 (703) 435-0608 (Dedicated to helping parents cope with the loss of their only child or all of their children.)
National AIDS Fund http://www.aidsfund.org/ 1400 "I" St., NW, Suite 1220 Washington, DC 20005-2208 (202) 408-4848
National Catholic Ministry http://cmnonline.com/ To the Bereaved 606 Middle Ave. Elyria, OH 44035 (216) 323-6262
National Donor FamilyCouncil http://www.nkfg.org/donation/dfcouncil.htm C/o National Kidney Foundation 30 East 33rd St. New York, NY 10016 (800) 622-9010 (212) 889-2210 (For Families of those who died and became Organ and/or tissue donors.)
National Hospice Organization* http://www.nho.org/ 1901 N. Moore St., Suite 901 Arlington, VA 22209 (703) 243-5900 (800) 658-8898
Parents of Murdered Children Inc. http://www.pomc.com/ (POMC) 100 E. Eighth St., B41 Cincinnati, OH 45202 (513) 721-5683 (888) 818-POMC
Pen-Parents Inc. http://penparents.org/ PO Box 8738 Reno, NV 89507 (702) 826-7332 (Support network designed for grieving parents and grandparents providing a pen-pal type service.)
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center http://www.parentsoup.com/library/organizations/bpdp022.html 1421 E Wayzata Blvd., Suite 30 Wyzata, MN 55391 (612) 473-9372 (Provides support, resources and education On miscarriage, still birth and infant death.)
SHARE Pregnancy & Infant Loss http://www.nationalshareoffice.com/ Support Inc. St. Joseph's Health Center 300 1st Capitol Dr. St. Charles, MO 63001 (800) 821-6891 (314) 947-6164 (For families who have experienced the death of a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death.)
The Taylor Fund* http://www.thetaylorfund.com 212 Doubletree Drive Venetia, PA 15367 (412) 841-3043 (480) 365-8322
Tragedy Assistance Program for http://www.taps.org/ Survivors Inc. (TAPS) PO Box 242032 Anchorage, AK 99524 (907) 272-TAPS (800) 959-TAPS
United Cerebral Palsy http://www.ucpa.org/ Association* 1660 L St. NW Suite 700 Washington, DC 20036 (202) 776-04006 (800) USA-5UCP
Wings of Lights Inc. http://www.wingsoflight.org/ 16845 N. 29th Ave., Ste 1 Phoenix, AZ 85053 (800) 613-8531 (Support and information network for aircraft accident survivors and others directly affected by aviation accidents.)
*Denotes a national charitable organization.
my heart aches for your family / Megan Misgalla (none)
Lori and Guy, I am not sure if you remember me but I gave you a tour of Pittsburgh when you were considering a move with Dick's Sproting Goods. I was going through some old files and never had followed up on what happened to you so I did a search and have been crying in my office since finding this website and reading about your son. Let me say that I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Even though I never met him or Brooke I knew from meeting both of you just how much you loved your children! I can't even try to begin to imagine the pain that your family endures as you try to come to terms withthe loss of your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you continue to try and get through this. Megan Misgalla Presenting Pittsburgh
As I sit here the day before my first Mother's Day without my precious son, I think back and remember all the ways you have helped me become a better person.
The moment you arrived into this world, and entered into my crazy lonely life, my life became more fulfilled. I felt like I was living a life of complete misunderstanding and sadness, but the moment I held you I knew G-d had presented me with his most precious gift. The gift of life. Not only yours, but the beginning of a new life for me.
In what seemed like a meaningless life, you were my strength, you gave my life purpose. Your unconditional love and trust in me made me understand that perhaps G-d does reward a spiritual person, but in his own time, not ours. What a gift to behold! What did I do to deserve you? All my life's sufferings had been rewarded, and I felt as though I had won first prize.
All the amazing years spent with you, watching you, admiring your beauty, your sweetness, your generosity to others. Watching in bewilderment as you defied all child rearing books by willingly sharing your toys with others when you were only a toddler. You never went through the terrible two's, or three's, or four's. I can't remember when you ever demonstrated a negative emotion. Your father and I were astounded by your display of compassion - even as a baby. You were completely untouched by the ugliness in this world, you were a thing of beauty, a conductor of love. It's as if God's love shined directly through your eyes.
Many evenings your father and I sat around discussing our wonderment concerning your tranquil personality. An oddity for sure, but one that we believed was being shared and entrusted to us by a higher power. Unless someone has met you, I don't think there is any way they can comprehend your non-confrontational personality. Even as I watched you on the basketball court where you exhibited your only form of aggression, I knew it was mainly for show. There would be times when you would be on the court while I was court side and you'd just had one of your moments, when we'd lock eyes, and silently signal each other of another fine performance. I could see your grin beneath a mask of anger.
How many times have we sat around and discussed spirituality Taylor? Countless times. Spirituality was a predominant topic between us.(or politics!) Our discussions on the perplexity of the world around us. Our talks about trying to actually "feel" the pain of others, to always treat strangers as old friends. And when I wasn't as understanding of others as I should have been, you would gently remind me that I too would feel bad if I was the one being judged harshly. You taught me to be a more accepting person - thank you. You taught me to let go of anger, to forgive and to love absolutely - 100 percent. Thank you for those gifts.
All the positive outcomes in my life I owe to you. The wonderment of a scary world made peaceful through your gentle presence. I'd spent my entire life afraid of what surrounded me, until I realized that you were my one true advocate. My little defender, the one person I always knew who would love me no matter what. All the painful memories of a lost childhood and wasted young adulthood were completely wiped away by the preciousness of your smile. All bad memories were washed away with the knowing embrace of the unconditional love of a child - you.
As I watched you grow I learned so much from you. I learned how to be passionate about my ideas. I learned patience from watching you be patient with others. I learned kindness. Most of all, I learned love. I finally knew what it meant to love and to be loved. You were my life instructor showing me through your eyes how to appreciate each breath of life. You made my life complete. And if I should die today, I'll die knowing that I have loved as hard as I could possibly ever love anything. Brooke is all I have left, my only family. Be kind to her Taylor, watch over her for me.
I sit and contemplate all the times I hugged you and kissed your cheek and told you how much I loved you and how proud I was of you. Now, knowing that you are no longer here to hug, I do not regret for one minute all the times I mauled you and your sister. I do not regret babying you even as I watched you grow into a handsome young man. I do not regret telling you that you will always be my baby even though you were clearly a foot taller than I. I remember reading the story by Robert Munsch called, "Love you forever" and not ever being able to get through it without crying.
Once more Taylor, I'd like to read it to you. I remember how you loved to hear this story. Again, I will hide my tears. And I will love you forever.
Love mom by Robert Munsch
A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!" But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:
Love You Forever
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!
But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!
But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always...
But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my Mommy you'll be.
When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:
I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
To a great friend / Kevin Hassett (Best Friend ) Oh wow where to start...... Well it is pretty obvious that Taylor was my best friend and there are just way too many memories to even contemplate. Two on two games with me and Taylor vs. My dad and B-rizzle ( his dad). Late night toilet paper runs, breaking everything in a 2 weeks period of time, Scattegories, messing with Brooke and her friends, pool for money, mascot costume, driving randomly, halloween, sleepovers, prank phone calls, baseball games and anything I just simply left out. We were best friends since you moved here. Taylor, I loved you with al my heart and I know I will miss you with all my heart... Love, Kevin
Many people have asked that I tell the story of my dream I had at the same time - unbeknownst to me, Taylor was in the Blue Ridge Reservoir, drowning, dying, all alone, cold and helpless, begging to live, even if only through a dream. Taylor and I have always been close. Having similar personalities and temperaments, Taylor and I always seemed to think alike. The morning of the fateful camping trip, I had felt unusually tired. Tired doesn't even describe the feelings I had - weighed down was more like it. I felt like I was wearing a suit of heavy armor, and I could barely move. I thought I was just feeling overwhelmed knowing I had to help the movers pack up the house in one week. Now I realize it was either someone or something preventing me from being near my son, or a very strange warning that, regretfully, I didn't seem to comprehend.
When Taylor had first asked if he could go camping, he had requested if he could borrow the Pacifica because Donnie's truck was not in working condition. I said, "No, Taylor, I don't think so, I don't think that's a good idea Honey." Half hoping that if they had no feasible means of transportation, he would make the decision to stay home. Unfortunately, the boys were hell bent on going and decided to repair Donnie's truck that morning.
A few moments after telling Taylor that if they could get Donnie's truck going, they could still camp out, my husband called. I told him, "I feel terrible today. I just can't get rid of this feeling of impending doom." He responded by telling me I was being a "real downer" and said he'd call back and talk to me later. *** remembers talking to Taylor about it, and even Taylor couldn't figure out why I was so bummed. Now - I know. Somewhere in my subconscious, I KNEW that morning would be the last time I'd ever see my beloved first born and only son alive again. What happened in the next few hours would turn out to be the extraordinarily heavy burden I carry around with me to this day.
When Taylor came to let me know he was leaving, I was showering and barely had the opportunity to say goodbye. I hollered out to him through the double doors of the bathroom, "I can't come out Taylor, I'm showering." He replied, "But we need to leave now." I yelled, "Okay,I'll be out in a minute." I could tell from his silence, he was in a hurray, so I did something I regret to this day, I shouted out to him, "Ok honey, have a good time, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you. Goodbye" I never got to tell him goodbye, not really, not like we usually do. I heard the front door shut downstairs just as I was getting out of the shower. In fact, he never even saw me running out the door hoping to catch him as he drove away down the street. For the first time in our entire lives, we had not hugged and kissed goodbye.
That morning, Taylor called from his cell phone to inform me that there would not be any cell phone reception up in the mountains. I wasn't crazy about that idea, and in fact; had I known that, I probably would not have let him go. We said we loved each other and hung up. It would be the last time I'd ever speak to Taylor.
That afternoon, I was still feeling this unbearable weight upon my body and decided to lay down for a short while to try to get some rest hoping it would refresh me.
Around 2:30 PM, as I laid on the burgundy and gold colored couch in the family room, I had what I refer to as a 'wake- dream.' Some people call it a vision. To this day I can't be sure I was asleep. I'm pretty sure I was fully awake. Either way, what happened next made even me feel uncomfortable. I had this "dream" that Taylor called me from his cell phone screaming, "Mom! Mom! I need to know how to do CPR! I need to know how to do CPR!" I could see him screaming hysterically into his cell phone next to a lake. Although I had no idea "who" needed the CPR performed on them, so I proceeded to talk Taylor through the motions.I could see what appeared to be a male figure on the ground. I could see the trees and the brown ground. But I couldn't tell who it was that was laying on the ground.
I remember telling him in my dream, as he was performing CPR on the unidentified body, "It's okay honey, you're doing fine. You're doing a great job. You've got it now, you can finish this on your own. I remember telling him that if the person throws up to just turn their head to the side, and take off his shirt and wipe out their mouth. I knew how that would make Taylor feel sick. I felt myself with him. It was wierd, I was talking on the phone with him, yet I could see everything happening as if I were there. "
I remember saying to his much relieved face, "You keep administering the CPR, and I'll get Brooke to call for help from her cell phone."
The next thing I remember thinking was, "What a terribly morbid thought."
Little did I know it was a cry for help from my son. Evidently, one of the boys tried to help him, the other ran away to look for help. Which never really came and Taylor drowned while poor Donnie tried help him. And Donnie being an accomplished diver, probably would have been able to, except for the actions of an unidentified volunteer fireman who prevented Donnie from trying to find Taylor underneath the water. The fireman instead, offered a "stick" to "poke" at the water with. Basically, that fireman let him die. How very sad. What our family has such a hard time comprehending is how could he have hit his head while going into the water, and why, if there were "loads" of people around in boats and other fishermen, why had no one else tried to do anything? Certainly if he had just fallen into the water, even if he was sinking, certainly more than one person could have helped. And if help had arrived, with the water being cold, Taylor could have been revived up to 20 minutes or more of being under the water. This was in the middle of July - not the winter! None of it makes sense.
After my vision, I scolded myself for even thinking such a thing and tried to relax again. I didn't realize it at the time, but either Taylor was somehow communicating with me to say goodbye, or it was a very frantic and desperate cry for help. He was calling his momma like he always did. Taylor never let me worry, he always called to let me where he was. We had a rule - I needed to know where he was at all times so if there was ever an emergency and I needed to contact him, I would know the last place he was so I could find him. Wow.
Taylor ALWAYS called. Ask anyone, Taylor called his momma several times a day. Later that evening around 7:03 PM, I telephoned Taylor on his cell phone totally unaware that he had drowned hours earlier. I left a message on his phone telling him I was worried that I hadn't spoken to him in a while, and that when he got my message, to give me a call. I had absolutely no idea that my son was already dead! In fact, it was 6 hoursAFTER he drowned that I was alerted to the fact that he was "missing." Why they did not alert us immediately is a mystery to us.
Sometime around 8:30 PM a Scottsdale policewoman and the local office psychologist came to our door. As soon as I saw his badge that had his credentials listed, I knew something terrible had happened to someone I loved.
The psychologist asked me if my son was one of three boys who had gone camping up at Blue Ridge Reservoir earlier that day and I knew right then and there, that my precious son was dead. I replied that my son had, indeed, gone camping. He quickly added that there had been an "accident" that Taylor had lost his footing, slipped down the rocky ridge and had fallen into the deep, murky, and very cold water. They were looking for him, he claimed, at that very moment.
I inquired of the man, "How long has he been "missing" since the "accident?" When he told me the "accident" occurred sometime around 2:30 PM, I knew immediately that my baby boy was dead. I knew from being a cop myself years earlier, that they didn't send the psychologist if they assume the child is going to be fine. I also felt it was common sense that a person who had fallen into the water and they cannot be found within 6 hours, that it is most probable that the person is deceased. I knew it, I felt it, I just knew my sweet, gentle Taylor was dead. And so begins the start of our nightmare. It took the recovery team two days to find his body. It was the longest two days of my life.
I can't believe it / Debra Rohman I just sent an email, but I hadn't read your entire site. My son just died a few days ago. His Birthday was February 28th.
From another grieving Mom / Sarah Chavez (none)
Your site for Taylor is so sweet & reading about your dream is heartbreaking. We lost our 30 yr old son Aaron on 11/08/08. No words can describe the anguish we feel, but seeing your words & others' websites etc helps us know we're not alone. He was my 1st born & only son. His sister Leah & he were so close. He was so kind & gentle, tho' he had alot of problems. He was struck by 3 cars as he crossed a busy street near our home. He was walking to go to the ER... (he didn't have insurance yet & tho' I'd offered twice to take him to urgent care, he didn't want me to have to pay, so he went.) He had a bad cold/flu & felt too bad to play w/ his 8 yr old daughter, so we'd just taken her home to her mom's. He asked me & his Dad for a ride, so we feel horrible guilt -even tho' he often walked places. He made it to the ER, just not the way he planned - he lived for a few min beside the road, & a policewoman named Angela held his hand. She said he was calm & peaceful & seemed to understand her that help was on the way. He coded in the ambulance but at the hosp they got him back for 15 min. After an hour, they gave the time of death. I will never forget that phone call from the ER, "Do u have a son named Aaron? He's been in a horrible horrible accident, & the chaplain will meet you at the door." I'm so afraid Aaron called my name in the instant he was hit by the car. We were sooo close & when he needed help, he always called me, even tho' he was grown. In some ways, he was child-like, tho' very intelligent. He was doing so much better in the previous 7 weeks that he'd been home, & had just gotten a new job that he was proud of. He was so happy to spend time w/ his daughters again & they loved him so! I felt when I read your account about Taylor that someone could understand how I felt about our son. Thanks for listening. Sarah C
I am so very sorry about what happened to Taylor he is so handsome and sweet I am sure he is with GOD and having a much better time where he is now. At least that is what I have to believe and really do because we also lost our beautiful daughter Jennifer to a car accident where she was the passenger in the back seat and the driver feel asleep at the wheel causing our daughter to die. So I do really know how you are feeling and what you are going through, loosing a child HAS to be one of the WORST thing a parent can endure. You are changed for LIFE. So Taylor is up in heaven doing all kinds of works for GOD and enjoying every minute of his ETERNAL life.
Life is a journey that sometimes leads us through rough places... But the walk is so much easier when we travel beside one another. That way we can reach out and find help when we need someone to lean on. It doesn't matter whose turn it might be or how much time it will take until the path becomes smooth again.All that does matter is that we were there for each other and that well keep walking side by side wherever the road may lead us... Please check out Jennifer's web site and spread the word to be safe sleep deprivation can KILL.
I came upon your sons site while visiting my cousins daughters site. Although I have never met you or Taylor, I can tell that you and your son had a wonderful relationship.
Taylor was a great guy.
After reading about your son I myself do not understand how this could have happened. Why no was able to help him.
It is awful.
Firemen are trained to do water rescues!
Life is not fair, know one ever said it would be, but somethings are just harder to except than others.
You know my cousins family lost two beautiful teenagers in 10 months. No one family should have to deal with such tragedy.
I do want you to know you should be proud of what you are doing with your sons site.
I am sure you have helped other parents who have lost a child.
Taylor seemed like such a loving, caring sweet boy who will be remembered forever because of his very special Mom and this wonderful web site.Thanks Mom*
God Bless
Peace
Joanne~
my sweet daughter / Mom Because today is Brooke's graduation day, I am adding this into Taylor's site because he would have wanted the world to know. Taylor was always very protective over his little sister Brooke, he adored her as she did him.
As I sit here in tears, thinking back on how excited and proud we were going to be about Taylor graduating, all I have now are questions about what really happened the day he drowned. None of the pieces fit and I can't get rid or the gnawing feeling that something is not right. Taylor didn't have to die, he shouldn't have been left in the still cool waters of the Blue Ridge Reservoir to die. There are no excuses for what happened to him. Taylor's death was unwarranted, and everybody knows it. I somehow can't help feeling that no one WANTED to help him. That he didn't die on accident, but rather at the unkind hands of someone with a devilish soul.
Thankfully, she has many loving aunts, uncles and cousins who show their love to her each day.
But being Brooke, ever the strong silent one when it comes to her true emotions, will instead, keep her head up and pretend that everything is fine and dandy, when in reality her heart is bleeding as much as her parent's. Can you imagine, going from a family where you have a sibling to being an only child? She not only lost her brother, but she lost the family her grew up in because the family dynamics have changed so much, that what she once knew as her family, no longer exists. It's been much harder for her than anyone realizes because she would never even THINK of troubling another person with her own grief. Like Taylor, Brooke has always been the kind of person to put others before self.
What people don't seem to get, is that just because time slides through the hourglass of life, the lives of the families left behind from the sudden death of a promising teen are held in suspension. We are all teetering between llife and death. Life because we want to live, but death because we so desperately want to rejoin our lost family member.
We smile even though our hearts are swelled with tears, no matter how happy and proud we are of our brave Brookie, there is the constant torment that she is ALONE in this - she is missing something - things are NOT okay for her today. She feels it very deeply that her brother is not there to join in the festivities and to tell her how proud he is of her.
So if you happen to fall upon this site today, please send out a prayer of strength for Brooke, because she is going to need it.
We miss you Taylor, Brooke needs you now more than ever.
WHAT A TRAGEDY~SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS~ / CATHY~MOM OF DAVID GIRAUD~~~~~ (VISITOR) MY HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES ON THE LOSS OF YOUR PRECIOUS SON, TAYLOR. HE HAS A WONDERFUL SMILE, I AM SURE YOU ARE VERY PROUD HE WAS YOUR SON. KNOW YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS, PRAYERS, AND HEART. GOD BLESS YOUR TENDER HEARTS!! OUR MEMORIES LAST A LIFETIME, OUR LOVE IS ETERNAL!
taylor/ Kevin Hassett (close friend )
I miss you man, And if I can, I jus wanna tell you a few things Im sorry , I love you man, and now that you have your wings Watch over us all, make sure we don’t fall, cuz if I do theres just no way Il be able to crawl to get back up. Unless you were there. You were my best friend, its just so hard to bear What happened was so abrupt there was no way to prepare, And as I think of our friendship I just stare into open space Wishin I could see your face, and knowin you have a huge place in my heart its just like it was from the start, no change Ya its strange I don’t get to see you, but we still talk When I pray, I get to tell you everything I know Reminisce on times of highs and lows The truth is you helped me grow, you were, and always will be my bro So now I jus wanna bestow a blessing on you, cuz i know you would do the same for me too
This is so hard to say but I miss you so much I wish those last three months we would have been able to stay in touch So many regrets but one thing I will never regret All the times we sweat, and doin stupid things which had people give us a threat, ill never forget I love you bro, I miss you so, I don’t know what ima do without u, no, I jus want you to know, you helped me grow like no other before And we will be together once more
I pray for you everyday, wishin you would have been able to stay Its seems like everything im sayin is a cliché, but it cant be that way Cuz its what I feel, its how I deal, with the loss of my best friend Why did it have to end, I want to spend time with you again But one thing I do know is that you did transcend into heaven eventually Once again it will be taylor and Kevin, best friends fo life No matter the strife, but before that I have to create a family maybe even a wife I’d give anything just to get you back, without you around I don’t even know how to act Before you died you made a huge impact on so many people’s lives And before I arrive in heaven to great you, I hope our friendship will stay intact Remember we made a pact, best friends fo life, no matter what the strife
This is so hard to say but I miss you so much I wish those last three months we would have been able to stay in touch So many regrets but one thing I will never regret All the times we sweat, and doin stupid things which made people give us a threat, ill never forget I love you bro, I miss you so, I don’t know what ima do without u, no, I jus want you to know, you helped me grow like no other before And we will be together once more
Kevin wears the number 55 in honor of Taylor. The number 55 was Taylor's number when he and Kevin played on the same basketball team for Desert Mountain High School.
To Lori,Brooke, And Other Family members and Friends / Kim Kirkwood (Moms Friend )
Good Morning I would like to start off by saying that I can't begin to know how any of you feel by the Loss of a son,brother and cousin and also a friend but I as someone who never knew Taylor was also very affected by it and your right brittany I don't think anyone leaves the site without tears as its very touching and oh so moving,and yes through the tears.
There are smiles Taylor always seemed to have one I see it in his pictures what a happy young man he was and had he not lost his life I know one thing he surely would have gone on to be one heck of a successful man and conquer many things.
Though I never knew him personally I got to know some through Lori his Loving and caring Mom and for that I am thankful,I shared something in common with Taylor his love for sports.
Taylor was an inspiration to all that knew him and to the many many lives in which he touched and was apart of,it is quite obvious that like people who never got the chance to meet and know Taylor still felt the loss of him and feel the deep sadness of the family there grief and hurt and pain and mourn along with the rest of you the family and friends who knew,cared about and loved,cherished and adored him and continue to miss him,his smiles,his personality,his sense of humor,his compassion,his love and his love of life,his friendship.
I am so grateful to you Lori for sharing and allowing me to get to know him through you,I pray that god will get your family and Taylors friends and aquantances through this and give you all the strenth to move on and continue with your lives and be happy as Taylor was he wants that for all of you,he smiles down upon all of you each and everyday,he says I miss you Mom, dad, brooke and brittany and all others that were apart of his life,he is your own personal guardian angel now and there couldn't be a better one then Taylor,who had such a zest for life and gave 100%
No matter what he did,he was there for you when while living and he still is there now,laughing when he sees ya all do something silly,crys when someone is sad,and serious when the situation calls for it and always loving the family and friends he all to soon left behind.
Keep those happy times with Taylor alive,talk about him amongst yourselves it may ease the void,hurt and pain and help you to move on,there is no real time limit on how long or short it takes a person to mourn and grieve a loss and no right nor wrong way in which to do it everyone has there own way in how that happens,I'd like to say that I am most sorry for your Loss to all of you and the one thing you do have and always will is Taylor in your heart and yes he does live on in there rest asured.
Thank you for allowing me this time to share my thoughts with the family and his many friends I appreciate it.may God Bless All Of You.
Taylor is back home with GOD / Shelley Remmers (none) I read your story, and Im so sorry. Life goes on not forgotten, Taylor in the short time here on earth, touched so many lives, and in his crossing over he is safe and back with our all loving father GOD. Be Happy.
God Bless Yours,
Shelley Remmers
This song always makes me think of Taylor... / Brittany (cousin) It's called "James" by O.A.R. but I always sing it as "Tay..."
You said, "Young man, don't rely on a sword. Cause your words will outlive even time." I've counted my blessings. The rest are for you. Please listen close for awhile, And breathe, breathe, deep for me (Tay). Don't you feel that you're free now from pain? I've heard about heaven for years. Can't be sure where you are, wander on blessed (Tay). I'm fine with you here.
I made the mistake once of fearing an end. Is this life that we live just the world's accident? Not a chance, so I move on with a smile. <--as Taylor would :) Are you surprised where you are? So breathe, breathe, deep for me (Tay). Don't you feel that you're free now from pain? I've heard about heaven for years. Can't be sure where you are, wander on blessed (Tay). I'm fine with you here.
I grew up slow on the heels of the rest. Left my heart back at home, carried you in my chest. And I don't feel like crying today. Why can't we talk for awhile? And breathe, breathe, deep for me (Tay). Don't you feel that you're free now from pain? I've heard about heaven for years. Can't be sure where you are, wander on blessed (Tay). I'm fine with you here.
You said, "Son, just listen to me." But I'm doing fine, (Tay). So you can sit back and just breathe. And it's time now to let yourself go. Hold us close, spin the dream, the curtain will fall but behind it I see that you're here.
This song, as well as so many other things remind me of my cousin. Sure this is a sad song, but no matter what it is that reminds me of Taylor... I always find myself smiling (through my tears). I still have a hard time looking at this website, only because it breaks my heart each and every time to see that not only do I suffer, but Taylor's immediate family, his extended family, his friends, and even passers by are touched, moved, and suffer over his loss. But I can guarantee this... each and every person may very well leave this site in tears... but they will no doubt have a smile on their face. It's just the kind of effect that Taylor always had on people and... will forever.
I missed Tay when he moved to Arizona... and I never got to say goodbye really... but I truly believe that I carry him in my heart. I love you Taylor... keep Aunt Lori, Uncle *** and Brookie strong.
Your crazy cousin- always and forever<3 many hugs and kisses from buffalo. --Britt
I Remember / Marilyn Craik (Friend and Neighbor ) It has been two years, but I want Taylor and his wondeful family to know, that I remember. And I won't forget. Life has dealt some real blows to this family and mine, having lost my husband in just four months out of the blue. Words for this loss are inadequate. I feel for this family, as I do my own. And I want to say that both Taylor and my Dave would want us to "buck up". I'm trying to do just that. Taylor, my Dave was there for you and your family during the initial hard days. I hope that you both have found each other in the land of glory. We love you both, and will forever miss you. Marilyn Craik
Tributes and Condolences
I found this memorial website reading some posts on the boards, and was so very touched, inspired and lifted up, almost as if I had known Taylor all my life. I cannot imagine your pain, but know that Taylor would not want you to suffer his tragic and untimely departure from you, just from reading about him. I will keep you all in my prayers, that God will lift your sadness and your faith will stay strong. I thought of how Satan was allowed to tempt Job in the bible, and God allowed the suffering, losing all his children, yet he was blessed beyond any comparsion. I believe that God will give Taylor his life back in a much better world. You have sent wonderful messages to people, as we all take for granted when we should not, and be so thankful for what we have. God bless you for sharing with the world and teaching love. Maybe Taylor had done Gods work in such a short time, and maybe he uses him to teach us all now. My sister lost her son and it is the largest void in her life, but her faith in God pulls her through. His death made no sense, but I know that one day, we will all know and understand God's plan and reunite with those we love. God Bless you.
It has been two years, but I want Taylor and his wondeful family to know, that I remember. And I won't forget. Life has dealt some real blows to this family and mine, having lost my husband in just four months out of the blue. Words for this loss are inadequate. I feel for this family, as I do my own. And I want to say that both Taylor and my Dave would want us to "buck up". I'm trying to do just that. Taylor, my Dave was there for you and your family during the initial hard days. I hope that you both have found each other in the land of glory. We love you both, and will forever miss you.
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